Washing Away Past Hurts

Tomorrow I have my first edit deadline for my book, Not Really A Princess . As I have been going over my manuscript, the tears still come. It is a healing process to write one's past anguish, failure and pain. I relive it as I write but I choose to be grateful for God's amazing master plan to help me break free of my past.

I know it is quite possible that my editor will ask more questions as she helps to develop this story to its fullest. Some things I may not remember and some I may choose not to remember. But my goal in writing this book is for others to see that there is hope for a future of joy. That I do not have to remain in the pit.

I am sometimes amazed at the giant puzzle of how everything has fit together in my life and how I am actually writing a book about it all. Not just writing it but it is now a reality that it is being published. The past several years I have fought myself on finishing it. Thinking who am I to write a book? I never loved english. I preferred foreign languages. How can I accomplish this feat? But I believe God kept prodding me. Pushing me on.

As I started getting closer to finishing the manuscript I continued with self-doubt. Even at the Writer's Conference I went to when I met with several agents, editors and publishers. Some would say maybe I could make it into a study book or a novel. My book proposal looked amateur and I did not feel very encouraged. Workshop leaders and keynote speakers all said it could take years to find a publisher and to expect many rejection letters. Doubts continued.

So I sent two unfinished, unpolished copies to two people I had met at the conference. Two. I received an email within a day from a publisher that was at the conference. I was crazy excited. Could this really happen to me? Me? A nobody? I still am in shock. And now I look at all the rejection in my life and I pray with all my heart that I can encourage others to look past hurts and push on to live joyously and abundantly.