I do too.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed about something and am awake for hours during the night. I know in my heart that God is sovereign. He is in control. Not me. Which I am glad about for sure. But I still feel a sense of burden. On the one hand - He wants us to pray to Him. On the other we need to trust - He has a plan far greater than I am imagining.
There are some who say that you aren't trusting Him to take care of the burden but I think of all the Psalms where King David was crying out to God and being very honest with Him because he felt close to Him. And he was after all a man after God's own heart. I think it is ok to share our burdens as long as we trust His outcome and believe He has a better plan than we do. In Psalm 84:11-12 it says,"...No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly, O Lord of hosts, how blessed is the man who trusts in You!"
I was reading in Mark 11 this week and came across verses 23-24. Such amazing words. They reached out and grabbed me, they comforted my heart that I need to continue to trust.
"Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and cast into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it shall be granted him. Therefore I say to you, all things to which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they shall be granted."
Whoa! So awesome. And I DO believe these things will happen. So I need to continue to believe it.
In verse 22, Jesus gives a gentle rebuke for the disciples to have faith. I think Jesus was telling us in verse 23 and 24 that God has unlimited power and it is available to us if we have strong faith.
Do not despair dear one. Keep trusting. Keep believing. It is like the expectant father in the prodigal son passage in Luke 15:11-32. The father saw his son when he was far off and knew it was his son. I think he believed the whole time that his son would return.
Sometimes we just need to remain Faithful. Consistent. Trusting. Patient. Wait for His answer and don't try to manipulate the outcome on your own. Trust HIS plan. He loves us more than we can even comprehend.
"Grace to you and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. For I am confident of this very thing, that HE who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:2-6